Dear Marion...
I still remember many of my younger days – my aspirations, my fears, my shyness, the happy moments, the worries, all of that. I am now 100 years’ old and am therefore well qualified to give you the benefit of my experience. Will you take notice of this? Probably not immediately but maybe one or two pointers may sink in.
One of my big regrets was that I didn’t question our parents enough about their former lives and about their own parents who I didn’t know. It was only when I had children of my own that I realised what it meant to have grandparents and what a wonderful relationship that could be. That meant that I did not know any old people and indeed was quite frightened of them. It was only in later life that I began to feel warmth for them – and I learnt about that from my mother (our mother). Even now I don’t consider myself to be old. And this brings me to one thing I can tell you. If you reach out to people of all ages, all backgrounds you will spread goodwill and also reap it yourself. In fact if you meet a person with whom you feel you have nothing common and wait a little, you may find that they have hidden depths - and that they can be interesting even though you may not become bosom pals. An open mind is important from an early age until old age. There is always something new to appreciate, and something new to learn. Never stop learning and thus never stop living….
Marion, I knew you well. You were an only child, quiet and timid, conscientious and hard working, not very sportive – as our mother used to say - built for comfort not for sport. All that was later rounded up until you became the person I am today.
In my lifetime I have seen many changes and have experienced joy and sadness. I grew up during World War 2 and therefore lived with many restrictions in my life. The blitz, separation from family when evacuated, no holidays, food rationing – and a little later on, most young men overseas in the Army. But somehow life went on and we could enjoy whatever there remained to be enjoyed and so made the most of it.
There were two important lessons I learned early in my life. A family friend who had studied palmistry read my hand and told me that I would be able to do anything I wanted in life. That impressed me. I now realise the true meaning, that if one wants something badly one should strive hard to make it happen and with luck and a fair wind it may well do so.
When I first started to work I had the good fortune to work for a charming and brilliant man called Andre Bernheim. It was still wartime and on one occasion he asked me to request some public body to take some action for him. The answer came back that it couldn’t be done. When I relayed that to my boss he immediately picked up the phone and in no time the matter was arranged. Though very young I decided that that should not happen again – and so next time I tried harder. That was a lesson that served me well all my life.
When I was your age I studied hard and acquired some skills to enable me to get a good job, originally as a bilingual shorthand/typist. But after that, on many occasions I was asked to do things in a completely different field. Although a little cautious I always accepted the challenge and was able to acquire knowledge whilst attempting those tasks. And eventually I became proficient in a number of different fields, such as arranging contracts( for French film stars) - learning about Insurance and Finance with my husband Emil, who had to build a business from scratch after being demobilised just before our marriage in 1947 - and so on. To my mind the most important thing was to admit whenever I did not know how to do a certain thing, and then eventually to learn. And thus I discovered in time that I had no further need to be diffident about my abilities, I could match my knowledge with experts. In other words, even if you are unsure, have a go!
Finally, when you marry, and I hope and know that it will be for love, appreciate your husband’s good qualities and don’t waste precious time over petty annoyances – and hope that he will do the same for you.
Marion, I know you so well. You will have little patience with what I have just written – but maybe as you get older you will realise that perhaps some of these words ring true…….